i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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