i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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