I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize