NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
