Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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