We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
