Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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