I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
