you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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