Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
