When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
