Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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