yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
