Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
