hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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