i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
