No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
