it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
