He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
