I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
