Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
