Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
