Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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