Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
