you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
