Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
