I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
