I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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