R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
