you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
