happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
