i just wanna soil my oats bro
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
