Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
