Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
