North Korea, Best Korea!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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