oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
