HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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