In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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