oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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