dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
did i just pee glitter
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
