i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
