Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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