yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
