Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
