I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
