Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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