Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
