His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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