help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
