is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
