Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Randomize
