My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
