508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
