im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
