So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
