I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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