You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
