i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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