Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
