dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
false alarm, still single
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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