HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
two words...techno handjob
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
