My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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