Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
