Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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