I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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