don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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