Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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