would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
kristin has been a bad kristin
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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