Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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