do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
