He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
