Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
