yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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